Cleaning my Drawers!

I managed to get a record amount of NOTHING done today–but NOPE–I choose not to beat myself up over it.  It is a day of rest and rejuvenation –totally allowed –once a week, or so…

There are still a few hours left to enjoy and to accomplish…something.  Something is ALWAYS better then nothing.  Anything is better than nothing!

I am taking a baby step by cleaning out ONE, no make that all three bathroom drawers.  And hey!  I did finally get that walk-in closet cleaned out and I could even dance in there now!!  Admittedly, there are a few…dozen…items of clothing that I haven’t worn in a while that I have not yet summoned the courage to part with.  But they really don’t seem to be taking up that much extra space just hanging there in the closet….and who knows they may come back into style or I may find the occasion to wear them… someday, and they really do look good on me and especially if I lose those 10 pounds…!!

Well, with the state of the rest of my bedroom, I almost want to MOVE into the closet now….hmmm…If my bedroom is a reflection of the “relationship aspect” of my life, guess I still have a a leeetle de-cluttering to do….

The drawer–unbelievable!  Do you remember those “biore” nose strips?  Let’s see…Wet nose- apply strip- let dry- remove strip; sounds simple enough.   OOUUUCH!  And viola!  This must be what Rudolph feels (and looks) like!  Nice.  At least I don’t have as many blackheads as I remember seeing on them back in High School!  LOL.  What else is in this amazingly crammed and tiny drawer? Hmmm, drugs that expired in 2003, 4 old razors, 6 deodorant, 3 very old tubs of Watkins Shea butter (still smell good!  Gotta love Watkins , and a pile of baby shampoos thieved from various hotels throughout North America, old toothbrushes, lots of Q-tips, hair jel, scarily OLD eye shadow, lipsticks, face cream –still smells…kinda okay?

The RULES are…If I don’t NEED it, don’t USE it, and/or don’t LOVE it–OUT it Goes!  Sniff, sniff!!  I need a garbage bag.

Hey…an old ring that matches that of an old boyfriend…hmmm…I think we bought them at a booth at some sort of music /folk festival??  I wonder if Steve still has his…I actually think he gave me his when we split up.  Men!  Always seem to feel a need to eliminate all the wonderful memories.  I guess it helps ‘em to get over us; when they can focus on all the negatives, unlike us sentimental women who will mull over all the jewelry and pictures and cry, but ultimately smile at the memories and how far we’ve come, and of course, how much we’ve learned and grown since THEN.   OR marvel at how little we’ve changed and how we are still repeating the same old patterns, attracting the same dysfunctional relationships since we have yet to discover the purpose/ healing behind them.  Thankfully, I fall into the former category!

When’s the last time you cleaned out your drawers?  You may be amazed at the clutter you might find in there!  Let it go and free up the space to attract newer, better things. I don’t know about you, but I can think of plenty of better things I’d rather have occupying my drawers

Are you Willing to Pay the Price of Transformation??

Enlightenment is anything but easy.  

What is your motivation for enlightenment??  What does enlightenment really mean?  

What does it REALLY mean to be FREE?  Are you willing to surrender fully?  To let go of everything?

Are you really willing to pay the price of transformation?  Let me tell you the costs may be well beyond any you have imagined or experienced thus far, but do not forget the benefits.  The benefits?  How does “Heaven on Earth” sound to you?  Serious benefits

From one of my favorite songs by Nickelback:  “What’s worth the price is always worth the fight”…

Have you been on the path of spirituality? higher evolution?  letting go of ego?  Do you feel that you are just not getting the results you had hoped for??  For some great daily practises to help your journey, Craig Hamilton has an awesome website:

http://www.integralenlightenment.com/pages/practices/index.php

Transformation requires a DEEP TRUST –GIVE yourself to this:  align yourself with truth and with your own deepest recognition of what is true,  with your own deepest knowing of what is possible.

If you were to align yourself with your own deepest spiritual purpose what would that mean for you?  

What is my ultimate purpose?  How can I really KNOW?  According to Craig Hamilton, if you are still living through the context of your ego, it is very difficult to come up with your TRUE  higher purpose.   You will need to start by applying spiritual work to decontruct the ego and the barriers to awakenment; work to awaken to the higher, deeper impulses running through the cosmos and the answer will be very different.  

Lift out of ego; have the freedom to contemplate these things.  Those of us that have the luxury to contemplate these things have the luxury to live our life for a greater purpose!!  Otherwise you would not be contemplating them in the first place!

Find your unique place, gifts, and role.  To do this Craig Hamilton suggests you to get in touch with the “heart beat of creation” and allow that to guide your life, which may be more effective than simply asking what your purpose is.

My favorite quote to live by is from Ghandi: “Be the change you want to see in the world.”

As you begin to wake up, you may feel compelled to be an example of all the best attributes of what it means to be human.  Become living, burning passion.  

How would your life change if you took it upon yourself to be the example for all human beings to follow?  YOU –  to be the ultimate human expression?  What does the ideal person look like and how do they live?  We’ve elected YOU- to be the one who is going to be the example for all to follow–you will have a camera following you 24/7, broadcast worldwide – the whole world is going to follow you as “THE Enlightened Person”.  Try that for one day.  How will it change the way you behave??

The SCARY thing is that we already ARE that for our children!  They are watching our every move!  Start by being the example for your children of what it looks like to be the ideal person, parent, spouse… or simply, the ultimate human expression– to live a balanced life of courage, integrity, joy, commitment, and purpose.  Identify your core values and then practise living them – minute by minute.  It WILL take focus, commitment, practice, and most of all LOVE.

If anything, I’m thinking or perhaps even KNOWING that my calling is about enlightened child-rearing.  Children are born “Wonder-Full”, innocent, and enlightened!  WE;  parents, teachers, society, etc. destroy their perfectly enlightened and innocent souls… don’t get me started on how my heart aches in this regard…

I can’t even fathom what more I need to go through in order to “get there” as I have already been through pain, sorrow, heartache, confusion, despair, desperation, health issues, and challenges to all my beliefs about relationships, money, parenting, discipline, work, emotions, health, spirituality, love and so much more and in more ways than I have time to write about right now.  

Letting go of my ego has been a constant struggle as I wish to become the best form of human expression possible –  a wonder-ful role model for my children – which to me is always and all ways ALL about LOVE – my thoughts, words and actions always and all ways come from a place of LOVE!

Please, Live for a greater purpose; help create Heaven on Earth!

Baby Steps to Healing and Enlightenment

Baby steps, baby steps…everything is accomplished one step at at time.  I don’t need to see the end of the tunnel, only the next few feet…

“The real reason so many have trouble with the baby steps, Jeri — doing all they can, with what they’ve got, from where they are, no matter how humble or seemingly futile — is because they haven’t yet grasped that the baby steps trigger unseen forces that throw wide the floodgates of unstoppable momentum, infinite abundance, and eternal life.”

Just some tiny steps,
The Universe

PERFECT! Have you checked out Mike Dooley’s “Notes from the Universe”??   They always seem to reflect what I’m feeling and give me a great boost for the day ahead.  This is one I still need to internalize as it always seems as if there is no end of things to do and so little time. 

The other daily message that I never miss is Neale Donald Walsch’s “I believe God wants you to know”

Todays was:

“On this day of your life, Jeri, I believe God wants you to know…
…that illness is not a sign of spiritual weakness, but of spiritual strength.

When we fall ill there are some who will say, “Why did you create that for yourself?” They might convince you to see it as a sign of spiritual weakness or failure.

It is not. It is a sign of spiritual strength.

All challenges are a sign a spiritual strength, and of the readiness of the Soul to move on; to evolve even further.”

WOW. I needed that one too. I’ve been fighting some wild symptoms that seem to have all the Dr’s stumped, for over a year now. And I have to say that I’ve been beating myself up every time the symptoms worsen or I get another “attack”. I believe so strongly in the Law of Attraction – that whatever you focus on Grows and Expands, and as Mike Dooley says “Thoughts become things, choose the good ones”–so I do believe that I attracted this weird illness to myself. I’ve finally come to grips with that, BUT…I’m working so hard at paying attention to my thinking whenever symptoms arise and focusing on perfect health and bringing loving attention and healing energy to all my cells. I know it takes time, but WTH?

As for a diagnosis…I can’t decide if it’s better to KNOW or not to. Would it be easier to heal myself if I knew exactly what I was dealing with and could focus my attention “there?” Or would that simply make things worse–putting my aches and pains, tingling and numbness, weird headaches, chest pain, jaw pain, bruit, dizziness, and nausea all in the forefront (just writing about it causes some of the numbing symptoms!) worrying me, making it worse. I’ve done a lot of research online–again a double-edged sword. I can’t decide whether to cancel all my specialist appointments and simply focus on and meditate on healing and feeling wonderful…or whether to tell the doctors what I suspect and which tests I want done and get to the bottom of it. Which would be admitting that something is wrong and expecting negative test results–whatever you think…you get to be right!!? Arggg! My family would kill me if they found out I canceled all my Dr’s appointments–they definitely feel it’s better to KNOW. And I used to–to know what you’re dealing with, to know you’re not crazy, to know you’re not (or perhaps that your ARE) dying!! Now, I feel like just surrendering to God. Esther and Jerry Hicks in the words of Abraham and the Law of Attraction say it’s NEVER a good idea to do the medical tests looking for something wrong!! If what you focus on grows and expands–is that REALLY what I want to grow and expand in my life? Hmmmm…

Story of my life. Yup…how you do one thing is how you do everything and guess what?  This Is MY GAME.  I go into a state of Confusion. It’s a form of resistence–avoiding something that I do not want to deal with. It’s a perfect way to RESIST what is and RESISTING what is just happens to be the definition (mine anyway) of STRESS–which just happens to be (in my opinion anyway) the CAUSE of 90% of illness. What a ridiculous circle I’ve created for myself!!
Okay…so…IF I DID KNOW WHAT TO DO…What would it be??  (Great “coaching question”, by the way…)  I know I have all the answers within…so here it goes….
It doesn’t MATTER Jeri–just make a decision and act on it.  Hell…as I tell ‘my people” if I make the wrong decision, so what?? I can adjust along the way.

See how good I am at spewing all this Self -Help stuff?? Big difference between what I know and what I KNOW. How long does enlightenment take anyway?? I claim to want “awakening” but I’ll tell you–they’re right–be careful what you ask for because you WILL be tested. In order to get there, you will be challenged with some of the toughest things you’ve ever dealt with and pain you didn’t know was possible, and choices that seem near impossible….and….sometimes….I want to quit and turn around and go back down the path I was on 10 years ago…you know…that one that “normal” people are on….and when things get tough and stressful…just crack open a bottle, invite a few friends, gossip, blame, complain, escape–feel like hell the next day, get through each weekday at your miserable job counting down for the weekend….and repeat…And finally wake up one day, look in the mirror at the grey hair, frown lines and sad eyes and feel an immense sense of saddness at all the time LOST….
I’ll take it–bring them on. Test me. I know the universe is conspiring WITH me and to help me. I know because of the profound and amazing connections I’ve made in the last couple years of my life. I know because my heart feels like it’s split wide open–open to pain and saddness like I’ve never felt, open to compassion, passion, connectedness to all, and LOVE. Ahhhh….LOVE makes it all worth while.  My eyes are always watery now, I cry easily, laugh easily and boy do I love easily and more fully than ever before!

I feel you. And I love you. Thank you for connecting with me right here, right now, at this moment, know that you are not alone. You are never alone…and if I could, I’d give you the most tender, warm, healing and incredible HUG you’ve ever experienced. I believe in you!!